‘Listening’

When I ask you to listen to me

And then you start giving me advice,

You have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,

You are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me

And you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,

You have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I asked was that you listen.

Not talk or do – just hear me.

Advice is cheap: 25 cents will get you both Dear Abby

And Billy Graham in the same newspaper.

And I can do that for myself; I’m not helpless:

Discouraged, maybe, and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me

That I can and need to do myself,

You contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact

That I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,

Then I can quit trying to convince you,

And get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works sometimes for some people,

Because God is mute and he doesn’t give advice or try to fix things.

He just listens and let you work it out for yourself.

So, please listen and just hear me.

And, if you want to talk,

Wait a minute for your turn, and I’ll listen to you.

Anon.