I love the funny story about a husband and wife who were out shopping and they agreed to meet up at a certain place and time. The husband wasn’t there when he should have been and his wife got crosser and crosser until she eventually called his mobile and said, ‘I’ve been waiting here for 20 minutes, where the heck are you?’

The husband said: ‘Darling, I’m sorry. You remember that jewellery shop where you fell in love with that diamond necklace and I said I couldn’t afford it but I’d buy it for you one day?’

His wife replied: ‘Oh yes, sweetie, I remember.’

The husband said: ‘I’m in the pub next door!’