A man, who died, arrived at the pearly gates of heaven and is met by St. Peter:

Peter says: “I don’t know if you realise that we have a points system before you can get into heaven; you need 100 points from your life on earth.”

The man replies: “Well I lived with my wife faithfully for 50 years and never looked at another woman. Does that count?”

“Very good. Three points,” says Peter.

“And I went to church every week and tithed my income.”

“Well done. Two points,” said Peter.

Getting frustrated the man said, “And I organised a gift of clothing to AIDS orphans in Africa.”

“Excellent, three points,” nodded Peter.

“But I’ve only got eight points. At this rate I’ll never get into heaven but for the grace of God.”

“Excellent, 100 points” Peter beamed. “Come on in, brother!”

Source: John Pritchard, Going to Church, 2009, London: SPCK, p.57