A girl went off to college and for a long time she didn’t contact her parents. Feeling guilty, she wrote them a letter. This was the letter that she wrote:

Dear Mum and Dad,

Since I left for college, I have been remiss in writing and I’m sorry for my thoughtlessness in not having written before. I’ll bring you up to date, but before I do, please sit down. Are you sitting down? It’s very important that you sit down before you read on.

I’m getting along pretty well now following the skull fracture and concussion that I got when I jumped out of my dormitory window when it caught fire shortly after my arrival. It has healed pretty well now. I only get those sick headaches a couple of times a day. Fortunately, the attendant at the petrol station witnessed the fire in my dorm and saw me jump. He ran over, took me to hospital and continued to visit me there. When I got out of the hospital, I had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out conditions of my room, so he was kind enough to invite me to share his basement bedroom flat with him. It’s sort of small but very cute. He’s a very fine boy and we have fallen deeply in love and are planning to get married. We haven’t set the exact date yet, but it will be before my pregnancy begins to show.

Yes, Mum and Dad, I’m pregnant! I know how much you will look forward to being grandparents and I know that you will welcome the baby and give it the same tender care and devotion that you gave me when I was a child. The reason for the delay in our marriage is that my boyfriend has an infection, which I carelessly caught from him. I know, however, that you will welcome him into our family with open arms. He is kind and, although not well educated, he is ambitious. Although he is of a different race and religion than ours, I know that your often-expressed tolerance will not permit you to be bothered by that.

In conclusion, and now that I have brought you up to date, I want to tell you there was no dormitory fire. I did not have concussion or a skull fracture. I was not in the hospital. I am not pregnant. I do not have an infection and there is no boyfriend in my life. However, I have failed my exams and I wanted you to see these results in their proper perspective!

Source: http://susanjsohn.com/thefamilyroom/2010/05/the-letter/